079. Brian Walker
Brian Walker
Love Advocate
Instagram: @brian_malarkey.jpg
Music: Bandcamp
I work in fire prevention and am in grad school for accounting, both at the University of Utah. I live in SLC with my wife, three kiddos, and two cats.
Whew… there is so much in this episode and it would probably take a whole other episode for me to express all of my thoughts on it. I will mention just a few things briefly. As I said in the outro of the episode. If something is toxic for you, take it out of your life. You deserve joy and happiness. You don’t need to hold onto anyone or anything that is holding you back or weighing you down.
I know that is hard. It is much easier said than done. I absolutely get it.
A couple things he took out of his life:
Religion. He doesn’t talk about it too much in this episode (another one to come though!) but he did leave the LDS church. You will get bits from this episode that show that the church was toxic for him. He ultimately left it. Leaving the religion that you were born and raised in is no easy feat. I know. You know I know that. But he did it. It was good for him. It allowed him to move forward in a better way.
People. He had to take his mother and father out of his life. Taking people, especially family, out of your life is extremely difficult. They’re your family. That is beyond difficult. However, if they are toxic, they have no place in your life. I’m going to quote him from the episode because he says it so perfectly,
“If your family is hurting you, then they don’t get to be your family. And if you try to fix things and they refuse to acknowledge that there is even a problem, they don’t need to be your family anymore. If you put up a boundary and you need some space and they say, ‘After everything we’ve done for you?’ People who see your relationship in terms of what they’ve done for you, they see you as a burden. They do not love you for who you are. They do not love you independently of themselves. You are an extension of themselves to them. And they don’t need to be your family anymore.”
This is absolute perfection. If your family is constantly hurting you, they do not need to be your family anymore.
You are meant to have joy and love and kindness in your life. If someone or something is a detriment to those things, you don’t need it in your life. No matter what it is. Set a boundary and take it away so you can move forward to be the best you that you can be.
You’ve got this.
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